I interviewed comedian Bert Kreischer who is living proof that you don’t need a high g.p.a to succeed in life. The Florida State alumnus who is the real life basis for the film Van Wilder after he was featured in a Rolling Stone article and it garnered the attention of Oliver Stone. The film project didn’t work out and the writers kept their intellectual properties, thus the film Van Wilder. After graduation he started doing comedy in clubs in New York and got a production deal with Will Smith. His exploits are legendary, if you have heard his “Machine” story of his student trip to Russia or heard him as a guest on Joe Rogan’s podcast. I recently got to catch up with the standup veteran at his show at Wise Guys Comedy in Salt Lake City, Utah.
Ryan Glover: How are you doing today?
Bert Kreischer: I’m doing phenomenal I just ran four miles and feel good.
Ryan Glover: Definitely, thats a nice workout.
Bert Kreischer: Well I ran and walked. I’m trying to get to an eight minute mile, so I do a half mile as fast as I can.
Ryan Glover: What time are you currently at?
Bert Kreischer: I ran four miles the other day at the 10 minute mile. I read somewhere that if you can do an eight minute mile you can get your life insurance premiums lowered. I was having issues with ego and self esteem in October, November, December and think it was directly attached to my weight because I was 265. I started losing weight in December and I really think that its helped with my self esteem and my ego. I got really healthy in December and now I feel really good, like its a little bounce in my step.
Ryan Glover: You come from an athletic background, so I understand you played baseball in high school and were heavily recruited by Duke but decided to attend Florida State, why did you decide to attend Florida State?
Bert Kreischer: Thats an interesting question. I look back and wonder what opportunities I missed out on. I got recruited to play baseball at Duke and the Citadel. I would have never worked out at the Citadel, that would never have happened. With Duke I wonder what my life would be like if I had went there. I was never good at school. I remember this guy, I think his name was Dwight Clark, but he was an older dude at our school and he came back and said they give you tutors, forget that. I went to Florida State to visit in the fall and from the moment I stepped on the campus I knew this was where I was meant to be. It was a beautiful campus, hilly, beautiful women and I knew people there. I got soft recruited to play baseball and they wanted me to be a bullpen catcher and I walked right off that field right back to my dorm, baseball cleats still on and all my friends were getting high in the dorm. We used to do this thing called time traveling where we would blackout the room and listen to Pink Floyd and I smoked a bowl with them and time travelled and thought that afternoon I’m done with baseball forever and I started gaining weight and that’s the end of my life. I was like I’m just gonna party. Not that I made a cognizant decision to party but I do like being at a party and making people laugh. I kind of took that as my career, now I kind of make a living partying.
Ryan Glover: What was the most epic party at Florida State?
Bert Kreischer: The most epic party. I was the social chair at my fraternity for six years and I threw some pretty insane parties. I threw a party one time where the concept was we were going to surprise the sorority that evening and not tell them about it until 6pm. I like spontaneous drinking. I threw a party where I got all the pledges to wear grass skirts that we made and put on war paint and made a throne and walked across campus. One year we filled up the lounge with water so you could only get into the lounge through the windows and then we did a slide from the upstairs to the downstairs. One year I bought chickens and goats and a boa constrictor. We also got a lot of coke and people started doing coke and killing the animals, that was pretty bad but it was back when you didn’t get in trouble for that.
Ryan Glover: Whats next for Bert Kreischer?
That’s a great question. I got a ton of emails today asking that same question. I think I want to do something real, that’s me, that’s larger than life. I’m going to continue my podcast and I’m doing a show for Sirius XM, it’s a morning call in sick to work show where it’s drinking. I’ll be doing stand up and touring all year. I’m doing a scripted show in August.